Fried Chicken and Cheesesteaks

 When only the chocolatiest will do .. First prep 12 ounces of dark chocolate - break into small pieces or coarsely chop.    I used 85% dark from Aldi.   Lightly whisk together in a large pot (I use my 7 qt dutch oven): 3 cups white sugar 1 cup cocoa powder 1 tsp salt 3/4 cup corn starch Mix in: 12 egg yolks 1/2 gallon (8 cups) whole milk Slowly heat on stove, stirring almost constantly until it starts to thicken.   This will take 12-15 minutes.     When it starts to thicken turn off the heat, still stirring.       Add:  2 Tablespoons vanilla prepared 12 ounces of dark chocolate Mix chocolate into pudding mixture and let it sit a minute, then whisk until combined.    Add in: 1 stick butter, cut into 8-10 pieces.     Whisk until smooth and shiny.   Scoop pudding into cups - I ended up with 38 servings.  ...

In food processor: break up about 6 oz of dark chocolate   (I had about 2 oz of a year-past-expiration 88% bar and a whole new bar of 85% German chocolate) 1/2 C sugar pulse until small bits Add: 1 C cocoa powder (I use natural process) 1 C powdered sugar 2 T corn starch pulse again until it looks like hot chocolate mix ... store in a jar.  To use, put 2-3 T per cup of milk, heat while stirring frequently.     Serve with marshmallows or whipped cream.     This is a DARK chocolate cocoa ... "too chocolaty" to my dark chocolate loving five year ... so use less powder or cut with milk for the kids. 

When in the course of human events you find yourself with sleeping children, husband away on business, and in desperate need of hot fudge sauce, with nary a jar of it or cream to be found .... heat in a saucepan:  1 can coconut cream (Trader Joe's rich version of coconut milk) when hot, add:  1 bag chocolate chips or chocolate chunks  1 13 month expired dark chocolate bar from the back of the chocolate stashed, broken up stir, then add a dash of vanilla.   Serve over ice cream or sliced bananas.   This sauce is unintentionally gluten free, could be dairy free depending on the chocolate used, etc ...

This gets really good reviews every time I bring it to work, so I figured I would share.   1)  buy a box of brownie mix (or better yet get it practically free with a double coupon on sale) 2)  store on shelf for really long time 3)  open brownie mix, preheat oven 4) replace "oil" listed on box with equal quantity of melted butter 5) replace "water" listed on box with equal quantity of cold leftover coffee 6) add eggs per instructions, stir it all together 7) add a handful of roadkill bunny (i.e. chopped dark chocolate - the lindt store sells broken bunnies cheap post Easter) 8) add a handful of mini marshmallows You will have to bake this a bit longer than the box says because of the extra gooiness from the added chocolate and marshmallow.      I like it served warm with a scoop of vanilla ice cream.

This recipe will make your arm hurt. But it is soooooo good. Really worth it vs. brownie mix (though I make those often enough too). 2 1/2 sticks unsalted butter 2 1/2 cups sugar 1 3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (I used natural, dutch would work too) 1/2 teaspoon salt 1 teaspoon vanilla 4 cold large eggs 1 cup all-purpose flour Grease the bottom of a 13 x 9 pan. Preheat oven to 325°F. Combine the butter, sugar, cocoa, and salt in a medium heatproof bowl and set the bowl in a wide skillet of just simmering water (I actually do this right in my dutch oven and haven't ruined a batch yet) . Stir frequently, and continue until the mixture is smooth and hot enough that you want to remove your finger fairly quickly after dipping it in to test. You will actually see the cocoa powder start to get smooth and shiny. Remove the bowl from the skillet and set aside briefly until the mixture is only warm, not hot. Stir in the vanilla with a wooden spoon. Add the eggs one at a time...

This hardly requires a recipe, but in case you happen to have "extra" coffee ice cream in your freezer right now: Mocha Shake: ~ 1 cup strong cold coffee ~ 3/4 pint coffee ice cream ~ 1/2 chocolate bar (.75 oz) ~ 1 tbsp cocoa powder ~ 2 tablespoons chocolate syrup ~ 5 ice cubes Blend coffee, cocoa powder and ice until cocoa powder is completely mixed in. Add the chocolate syrup, ice cream and chocolate bar, and blend again. Split between two glasses, and, if you're feeling fancy, garnish with chocolate shavings (run a potato peeler down the side of a chocolate bar). A few links of recipes I've picked up here and there that look great: Chicken Cheese Puffs Apple Dumplings - these look pretty easy, too! Pecan Pie Bars and an oldy but a goody I haven't made since I was old enough to drive: Lemon Bars

As we continue our not cooking much holiday weekend, this recipe is very complicated, so pay attention! 1. Open box marked "fudge brownies". 2. Follow direction on box EXCEPT: use coffee, either regular or decaf in place of the water 3. Also stir in one bag of chocolate chips. Bake as directed. Accept applause, as somehow the coffee makes the brownies taste even chocolatier, without any hint of coffee flavor.